


i will lay down my heart

by poalimal



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fic in the Time of Quarantine, Gen, Heterocentrism, Homophobia, M/M, Miscommunication, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poalimal/pseuds/poalimal
Summary: 'You wanna grab a drink?'
Relationships: Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

  
Gabe doesn't really drink these days. It's been a long day, though - he doesn't feel like going back to an empty apartment. He can get seltzer or something. Cranberry juice, maybe. 

'You asking me out, Morrison?' he asks, slipping on his coat. He's just joking.

Jack is still smiling. 'Yea,' he says, 'I am.'

Gabe blinks. 'Oh,' he says. 'I'm not-- sorry, I didn't--'

Jack backs-off, laughing. 'It's ok, it's ok!' he says. 'Forget I said anything. I'll see you in the morning, ok? Have a good one.'

* * *

Gabe didn't know Jack was gay.

* * *

Or bisexual. Interested. Whatever.

* * *

Jack keeps his distance in the morning. Gabe's not-- he's not angry, or anything. He's not some homophobe.

* * *

He's not a person who makes friends easy. He certainly never thought they would click.

Jack seems pretty dry when they first meet. Gabe keeps expecting to be bored. Jack keeps a Bible in his locker. He hides away reading books during downtime. The history of abandoned monasteries in France - unfinished plays from Sidney Waterhouse - little-known causes of the Revolutionary War. Stuff like that. He doesn't care for cats, soccer, or Bonnie Raitt. They have nothing in common. Somehow they haven't run out of things to talk about yet.

Jack always has a smile for Gabe, even when Gabe's a little mean. 

'I _knew_ you were a nerd,' Gabe said, when he first found his reading glasses. Just joking around. Trying them on, playing it up. Waiting for Jack's blurry smile.

* * *

Never knowing Jack was hoping for something else.

* * *

On Fridays the local deli brings in subs and sandwiches - Jack always grabs tuna salad on whole wheat for Gabe. Always saves him a seat for the weekly meeting. Always picks him up on the way to the station when their shifts overlap.

Not this week.

It's not like Jack is mean, or cold, or anything like that. He smiles at Gabe, across the table, during Friday lunch. Laughs at his jokes, leaning against the wall, during the weekly meeting. Greets him like normal, at the start of their shifts.

But he eats lunch with Dagmar. He puts up with what Aaron wants to watch. He catches a ride with Tessa.

* * *

Gabe gets it. It's not-- he can tell Jack's just taking a little time. He's not upset about it.

* * *

Not for the first week, at least.

* * *

Upset isn't the right word. Take him out of the equation. Objectively: it's a bit bullshit, if he thinks about it. And he has been thinking about it. 

Gabe's not gay, so he gets, what-- _cut off_? He's not allowed to talk to Jack anymore?

It's bullshit. Juvenile fucking bullshit.

* * *

'You seem pretty worked up,' says Rocky, in English.

'Shut up,' says Gabe, in English. ' _It's not important to me for nothing_.'

'Oh sure,' says Rocky. ' _That's why you came over here really upset_ \--'

'I'm not upset,' Gabe shoves kettle corn into his mouth, 'I'm annoyed.'

'-- _and interrupted_ Date Night,' says Rocky.

' _I am not interrupting_ Date Night,' says Gabe. 

' _You've been talking over the movie for the past twenty minutes_ ,' says Rocky.

'Agree to disagree,' says Gabe. _Hope Floats_ ain't even that good. 'Van, am I interrupting your Date Night?'

'Uh, haha,' Vanessa says, smiling, 'well - you know we always love company.'

'Just not,' Rocky says, kicking him out fifteen minutes later, 'during Date Night.'

* * *

Rocky came out in middle school. Dad's awkward about it: he always says, 'tu hermana y su amiga' when he talks to Gabe. Mom's always been super supportive. She took Rocky to her first Pride parade - she treats Vanessa like a daughter, and she has a book club going with Vanessa's stepmom.

She took out abuela's ring from storage and gave it to Gabe before he moved out.

'What am I supposed to do with this?' Gabe asked. Priya had just dumped him.

' _Listen to me, my sky_ ,' his mother said. ' _My mother was not perfect - and you know I try my best to understand your sister. But I know my mother would not understand. And I would not-- I would not want to do anything that I know would upset her. So you take this - and you put it somewhere safe - and when the time comes, you give it to the woman you want to be your wife_. Ok?'

* * *

Yea. He knew what she was really saying.

* * *

They throw a party at Mario's to celebrate the Chief's twenty-fifth work anniversary. A bunch of oldheads from the police department show up. Gabe recognises two of them from getting pulled over. He gets claustrophobic, after a while. He hides out on the patio. Whole place is rented out, and Corinna's keeping it open, even past closing time. Place almost burned down back in '82. Mario's always been grateful. 

Chairs are stacked up on the tables, outside, except for the one Gabe takes down. He stares out at the street, sipping his cranberry juice; watching the cars pass into the night. Across the street, holiday lights blink on and off in the window display of the darkened fabric store. The drumming on the awning above his head, as it begins to rain. The laughter, the cursing of the group inside - while old Sinatra songs play, dreamy and spare: _like someone in love_.

'Hey,' says a voice. Gabe looks back. Jack, with his bottle of shitty beer, leans in the entryway. His face flushed, his hair curling over his brow, darkened with sweat. The top button undone on his shirt.

Gabe stares at him, and keeps staring. It's just been two weeks. At the end of the day, Jack's just a co-worker - if he wants to push Gabe away for whatever reason, it's his choice. It doesn't matter.

It shouldn't matter. 

'C'mere,' Gabe murmurs, 'and let's have that drink.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of country-blues singer Bonnie Raitt's most famous songs is _I Can't Make You Love Me_ \- a song in which the speaker mourns the end of a relationship, acknowledging at last that her partner does not return her feelings.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have one drink together, then two - then a third, back inside.

They have one drink together, then two - then a third, back inside, when Gabe starts sneezing. There's still cake left - they switch to espresso.

Jack fakes a drunkenness he doesn't feel. 'I'll drive him, I'll drive him,' Gabe says, when Tessa offers. On an emptied table, he drags a pinky through a melting pool of ice and glides it over his eyebrows. Wiggling them playfully as they all say goodnight: 'How do I look?' Jack can't help but laugh. 

He would think it was all fine, if they were only ever around other people.

Outside, in the cold, he regrets wearing just his old suede letterman jacket. He stands there, shivering, watching Gabe reach down in front of the passenger seat for a fallen water bottle, a stray few napkins. Jack doesn't want to wait. 

'Gabe, it's fine,' he says, bending down a little, his breath a puff of smoke. 'You think I mind a little mess?' The side door's open, his arm is on the top of the hood. Left-over raindrops soak through his layers and his flinch. 

Gabe glances up at an angle, the light from the lamppost sketching his jaw. He doesn't seem cold, with just a scarf and leather jacket. He parked all the way up near Houghton Way, right across from the town centre, near the Christmas tree. Always trying to get those extra steps in. 

His eyes are dark. He looks at Jack with something strange in his face - wary and reaching. Jack swallows.

It's when they're alone, now, that it's different.

A car with rolled-up windows slows to a stop at a streetlight in the street beside them, music spilling from the speakers. The harmony is muffled and mostly familar. Prince?

'Right,' Gabe mutters. He sits up, he turns his face away, he stuffs the napkins in his pocket and he pulls his seatbelt on. Jack gets in the car. He closes the door, he takes in a breath - he gets a scarf thrown at the side of his face.

It's the one Gabe was just wearing - one of his mom's early sewing attempts - still warm from his body. Still smelling of him.

'Put that on,' Gabe says, low, checking his mirrors, 'before you catch a cold.' Jack ducks his head. He wraps the scarf, black-and-orange-and-white, around his neck, he pulls it tight with a knot. Gabe turns the heat up - at first it blows cold.

The ride is a short one, normally. Construction in Weston has closed a few roads: Gabe has to take a somewhat roundabout route. He doesn't put on the radio - he does begin humming to himself, idle and perhaps unaware. It's the song from before, from that car at the light. 

Jack joins in, a little. Gabe glances at him sideways. Jack can see the smile that wants to bloom on his face. He grins over at him encouragingly.

The light flashes green. Gabe blushes. Jack's grin slides right off his face. 

'You don't even know the song you're humming,' Gabe says, turning left on York Drive.

Jack attempts to sing the bridge. It does not go well. He expects Gabe to laugh - instead he frowns. Huh.

The parking garage beside Jack's apartment complex comes into view: an end to strange signals is in sight. Gabe drives up slow in front of the side lobby - Jack always takes the stairs up. Gabe puts the car in Park, he puts his blinkers on. He doesn't look at Jack. 

Is he not even going to say goodnight? 'Alright, well,' Jack says slowly, feeling oddly winded. He unclips his seatbelt, biting his lip; staring at the side of Gabe's face. Maybe that's all he'll see from now on. 'Guess I'll see you Tuesday, then.'

Abruptly, Gabe starts fiddling with the heat - turning it down, then right back up. Jack pauses. 

'Just so you know,' Gabe says, very slowly, 'I've, uh. I've been with men before.' His lips barely move, he's holding himself so stiff.

Jack blinks. He remembers the way Gabe had reacted, when he'd asked him out. _I'm not_ \--, he'd said; --interested, Jack had thought.

Jack says: 'Men?'

A ripple goes through Gabe's face - Jack listens very carefully. 'Well,' Gabe says, ' _a_ man.' He takes in a deep breath - then lets it out slowly, forcibly relaxing his shoulders. 'Uhh. So this was back in 20...16? I lived at the Orve, then, and he did, too. Ah... His name was Ellery.'

 _Ellery_? Jack tilts his head. 'Was he-- older?'

Gabe glances at Jack; his lip twitches upward. 'No. Just Jamaican.'

Jack is mystified. What does being Jamaican have to do with having a name straight out of the 1920's? 'Ok,' he says, slowly. 

'So L and I..,' Gabe says. He blinks slow - a million miles away. Jack can feel his face go warm, just looking over at him. 'We, uh. Clicked. He worked IT for this tech startup, and he always came in at weird hours. So - we matched. And we just kept running into each other, so... after a while we just did it on purpose. This was, ah. After Van and Rocky got their own place? And I was by myself a lot... It was more a convenience thing, at first. And he had a fiancée back home, I was off-and-on with Bri. So I knew he was straight, and he knew I was straight, so we didn't-- there was no confusion. I just liked him a lot. We had a lot in common: we both liked sci-fi, horror, soccer... Domi was crazy about him.' A little rueful laugh.

Jack struggles to keep an even expression. Gabe used to say that Domino didn't really like anyone. Apparently... that wasn't entirely true. 

Well - it doesn't matter. Jack might be the first person Gabe's ever told this to. Now's not the time to get jealous. 

Gabe shakes his head idly. 'And I really did think-- it was this once-in-a-lifetime fluke. I thought I just really... liked him. And he always mentioned his fiancée - Sab's gonna love you, Sab said this, Sab said that. And I kept-- _wanting_ to be excited to meet her. Cus I could tell he really loved her. So I didn't understand why I sometimes felt-- like I didn't want to see her? Like, they'd be on Skype together sometimes... And I would just-- not want to be around them. I think I told myself I was just jealous as a friend.'

The heat through the vents is the only sound for a while. Gabe seems calm, relaxed. He looks tired.

Jack used to think he could talk about anything with him. He swallows. 'When did you realise?' he asks.

Gabe twists his lips - almost even looks like a smile. He says: '--Two weeks before Sab was sposed to visit... he came over. And it was this really rare day where neither of us had work. And we didn't feel like going out, cus it's hella windy, and the Orve is basically a wind tunnel. So we're having this shitty movie marathon - the movies were shitty; the marathon wasn't - we're having a shitty movie marathon, we're drinking some beers, we're having a good time - and then the power cuts out. The wind knocked over a powerline. And it's still light out, so we're not really worried. But we can't watch the movie anymore, obviously. 

'So I call the power company, and they say the power'll be back on in a few hours. Which I don't believe at all. But while I'm still on the phone, L gets up and starts rummaging through my closet. And I'm on the couch, and Domi jumps up on my lap. And I hang up the phone, and I'm just-- watching him. And I could tell that he knew I was watching him. And it all just felt so--funny, for some reason. We just kept cracking up. And finally I was like, what the heck are you doin in there? And he turns around, with this-- like, perfect smile, like he was just waiting for me to ask. And he says: _I'm looking for that damn flashlight of yours!_ '

Jack waits for the rest of it. But Gabe seems to be done speaking. 'And that was it?' Jack prompts. 'That was the moment?'

Gabe's eyes crinkle up when he grins. 'Yup,' he says. 'That was the moment. I remember clearly thinking... _This is it. This is what I want._ '

Jack's stomach churns. Maybe cake, vodka and espresso weren't a great idea. 'Did you ever... tell him?'

Gabe laughs. 'Hell no,' he says. Jack swallows a sigh - he's not sure if he's feeling relief, precisely, or-- 'He figured it out himself.' 

'And... how did he react?' Jack asks. Did he, he silently adds, say something completely ambiguous in response? Something like, _I'm not_ \-- _sorry, I didn't_ \--

'Oh, he said we should stop hanging out,' Gabe says, flippant. 'And I played dumb and asked why. Then we made out. And he said that was why. _Anyway_ ,' Gabe says, somewhat sharply, while Jack blinks in surprise, 'he ended up getting laid off, and he couldn't find another sponsor so he had to go back home. We're friends on Facebook now. He and Sab run a couples vlog.'

Wow. Lot to unpack there. 'It doesn't really sound like he figured out how you felt,' Jack says slowly. 'It sounds like he may have come to terms with his own feelings for you.'

Gabe purses his lips thoughtfully. 'Is that how it was with you?'

Jack smiles to hide his surprise. 'What?'

Gabe glances over at him; his eyes catch on Jack's face, and hold. Jack isn't sure what to do except stare back. Gabe narrows his eyes.

'There it is,' he murmurs. 'There's the face.'

'What face?' Jack asks, befuddled. 'What's wrong with my face?'

Gabe rolls his eyes. 'There's obviously nothing wrong with your face, Jack,' he says. 'You just make this-- _vacant_ expression sometimes, and it pisses me off. You smile, and you make eye contact, but it's like you're not really there. Last two weeks? That's how it's been. You just stare and smile and shut me out. I mean, I woulda thought _Dagmar_ woulda asked me out before you did, you play shit so close to your chest.' 

Dagmar is openly gay - Jack isn't a fan of how Gabe says her name.

He can feel his composure cracking. 'I really don't understand,' he admits. 'I thought we were talking about you.' And now Gabe was, what, getting mad? Why?

'Yea, we were, and now we're talking about you,' says Gabe. 'You're not-- like, a sounding board for me, Jack, I wouldn't have told you about Ellery for no reason. So cut the bullshit and tell me how it makes you feel.' Wow - no fucking wonder Gabe gets dumped all the time! If this is how he talks to his girlfriends. Partners. Whatever!

'What's bullshit is I did tell you how I felt,' Jack snaps, 'and then you ignored me for two weeks!'

Gabe scoffs. 'O-h-h, do not even try it. _You_ ignored _me_ for two weeks. You also didn't really tell me anything? You indirectly asked me out, and that was it. You never even looked at me like that before--' that you saw, Jack thinks '--you definitely never _flirted_ with me before, and you always shut it down when other men flirted with you!'

'And you don't think that was intentional?' says Jack. 'You can't think of any possible reason I would do that? Like, are you kidding me? You're getting mad at me for not being out?' 

'I'm not mad about that,' Gabe says.

'Well, I don't understand why you're mad about anything, frankly,' Jack says.

'I never said I was mad at all!' says Gabe. 'I'm just frustrated - like, I get that people are shitty. And it's not like--' he takes in a sharp breath - he sighs '--it's not like I've been--' mumbling now, '--a great ally or anything like that. Like... I know there are times when the guys have said homophobic shit about Dagmar, and... I haven't said enough. So - I can definitely understand why you wouldn't tell me. It's not like you owe me or anything - you don't owe that to anyone. _But_. If I am trying. my hardest. to give you the green light, and you're just. sitting there. With that _vacant_ expression on your face - like this is all happening to somebody else!, and it has nothing to do with you - it's gonna piss me off!' He shakes his head.

'Hmph.' Jack narrows his eyes. Through the window beside Gabe's head, Jack can see across the street: two swaddled up figures and a dog, moving through the night. 'How green of a light we talking here?'

Gabe scoffs. 'At this point? Chartreuse.'

'Hm,' says Jack. Lying through his teeth: 'I always get that one confused with cerulean. Which one's the blue, and which one's the greenish?' 

Gabe sends him a tired quirk of the lips. Bluff called. 'Cerulean's the blue-ish, chartreuse is the,' he yawns, 'the greenish.' He looks ready to fall asleep right there.

On impulse, Jack says, 'why don't you just stay over?' Gabe seems to wake all the way up at that. 

'Not--,' Jack backtracks, 'not like that. Just. You're tired, and you have a shift tomorrow - and you don't want to have to drive all the way back to Boulie, do you?'

Gabe droops again. 'Oh. No, it's fine,' he waves him off, rubbing at his eyes. Jack's lips quirk up - it's not quite amusement that he feels. 

It doesn't feel like they've resolved anything, really. They just can't get on the same page tonight. 

Jack decides to cut his losses. 'Alright, well...,' he says. He glances out the window, into the empty lobby of his building; he turns back, he begins to slowly tug Gabe's scarf down. 'Thanks for the ride. I guess I'll see you--'

Gabe catches the tail end of the scarf - he shifts into Jack's space, he rearranges him, carefully, he rewraps the scarf around his neck. 

His eyes are warm - his knuckles graze Jack's neck - when he looks away this time, Jack sees his uncertainty for what it is. His pulse starts to pick up.

'Just keep it on, Jack,' Gabe says quietly, glancing up again as he lets go. Jack drinks in the look on his face; that nerviness, that nearness of him. 'I'll see you Tuesday.' 

He seems to be... holding his breath? Hm. Jack leans in - testing him. Gabe pauses, startled, looking into Jack's eyes. The heat touching the side of their faces. Jack drops his useless smile.

Gabe sucks in a breath - curious - Jack leans into his air. A moment in his eyes; then they slide half-closed. 

They kiss.

The angle is not great - a clack of teeth, a wince, and tongue - a tug, Jack's heartbeat thudding in his ears: they readjust. Gabe pulls him close. Gives him a nervous smile - and that's all Jack needs. They start again - slow. Just the lips at first - chaste, mostly close-mouthed - Jack parts his lips slowly - learning this man's mouth - the sound of his breath, the warm slide of his tongue - the way his body trembles... slowly, deeply, pushing into him... feeling all his delicious need. Gabe's hands sliding down the back of his head, twining around his shoulders - anything to give him a better angle; to give him more. A little haze of pleasure raises all over his body, the deeper into the kiss he falls--

One of their arms honks the horn. Jack sits up in surprise - Gabe just looks at him, blinking-slow, his mouth swollen and sweet, as he tries to catch his breath.

'You thirsty?'

Gabe blinks at him - a frown ripples through his face. It's clear he can't tell if Jack is teasing him. Jack is, a little; he kisses him again, quickly, smiling. Gabe kisses him back with ease. They lean back after a little, stealing looks at each other - grinning stupid.

'It's just,' Jack tries again, 'I have a guest parking pass. And drinks upstairs. Drinks you'd like, even. In case you were... thirsty.'

Gabe stares at him closely, his grin slowly fading into something more thoughtful. Jack's not sure what he's searching for precisely. Gabe leans forward again, and presses his lips to Jack's. It's not well-formed enough to call it a kiss, exactly. Just - Gabe's breath, Gabe's mouth, so close to his. 

Gabe tilts back, the slightest amount, his eyes dark and heavy, roving over Jack's face once more. Smiling now - decided.

'I'm parched,' Gabe says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-reading the first chapter of this, I was struck by how sparse it was, how very little dialogue it contained for the period of time that it portrayed. So obviously this second chapter is just one dialogue-heavy scene. Certain parts of it... hm, annoyed me to write. I don't like to write an unreasonable Gabe; but I understand the mutual frustration.
> 
> As a note on setting: this is set in a fake city somewhere in North America. The Orve is the nickname for Orville Estates, a relatively affordable series of apartments in a slowly gentrifying part of town. Boulie is short for Lafayette Boulevard.


End file.
